To catch or be crashed upon?

From the depths of a very deep, very hot bath, I could see for miles. First I realized how much I will miss this tub. A luxuriously deep porcelain bathtub. The kind they don’t make anymore. The kind that I have to really be limber to get into. The kind that gets stained a creamy eggshell color and stays hot for hours. I will miss this tub. Even the rust that comes through the plastic enclosure, caused by old galvanized pipes. Even the unsightly beige tint that remains no matter how much scrubbing I subject it to. I will miss these long, hot baths. I will miss emerging from my cocoon, warm and dreamy, listening to the tick-tick of the old radiant heating in our apartment.

So from the depths of the bath, examining the chipped polish on my toes and marveling at the incredible warmth I felt, I realized that 2011 is going to be a big year.

It started with the first real snowfall of the winter. And there were Nick and I, at the inspection of our first home, watching snowflakes meander down. As I listened to them inspect the furnace in the basement, I reclined on the couch, imagining what it would feel like to live there. I could hardly believe it might be ours.

We are on the cusp of something big.

Like standing in glassy water and waiting for the right wave. And when you see it you have to paddle like hell to catch it or just duck out of its way. We see the wave. We’re paddling to catch it. Our first house. Our first mortgage. Our first clawfoot bathtub. Our first dog. And then in August, our first wedding. A big year. And big dreams. And hopes. And responsibilities.

I feel a certain amount of pressure. I’ll need to pick a career now. Those dreams of becoming a vintage clothing seller might need to be translated into reality. If I really want to write, I’d better get to it. If we have a beautiful kitchen, I’d better learn to cook. And if we have that living room with lovely original woodwork, I’d better get set to entertain. My mind reels with the contents of a wedding registry, fantasies of a well-behaved chocolate labradoodle, and the realities of my everyday world.

Yes, 2011 will be a big year.


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